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Growing up that is, and my birthday was only a month back.

Cynicism sets in,

Ego inflates,

Music stops,

Surprise dies,

Patience runs out,

Temper soars,

Evaluation begins,

Brashness snoozes,

Weight increases,

Love decreases.

So growing up, up yours!



Weight of the world,

in that one stubborn tear drop.


One day I will,

climb a mountain,

find a tree,

carve a hole,

unburden me,

cover with mud,

the grave of that one stubborn tear drop.

Movie Musings- Dhobi Ghat

P.S- I’m a Delhi girl. I’m working in Bombay.

I walked out of the movie hall- strangely tormented, sufficiently calmed. For the movie ‘Dhobi Ghat’ is not your usual jibberish. It doesn’t assume the audiences are mindless fucks. It nudges, titillates, amuses, resonates, jolts and finally calms. It reasons with you. It credits you for the evolved, superior species that you claim you are- homo sapiens (with fully functional brains).

It exploits the two fundamental human emotions- love and longing. The two whores that everyone likes to sleep with, knowing the havoc they can cause in their lives. There’s no better backdrop for these two emotions to play than Bombay.

I digress.

Bombay- the city that is the king’s favorite, most fickle minded mistress who will seduce him, but by her own rules. She’ll take away from him, more than she can ever give him back, but still every night the king will crawl back on his fours for a glorious lost battle. The city where thousands of people flock to everyday with dreams and every night there are millions of dreams shattered and loves lost. But every morning is brighter and sunnier than the morning before- for everyday is actually new in here, that is Bombay’s tough love.

I regress.

The beauty of the movie lies in the simplicity. But we think we’ve outsmarted simplicity. We like bling, we like it loud, we walk in a movie hall to forget. Oh but hey, this movie showed you the mirror- didn’t it? It showed you the day you landed with bags on a Bombay station/airport. It reminded you of the smell of sweat concoction in a second class local train compartment. But most importantly, it urged you to not run- for 10 minutes. It challenged you to look around- and see. Your maid, cook, MNC employee in the adjacent car, theatre actor sipping tea in Prithvi, trinkets seller in the local train and the maulvi in Haji Ali. It reminded you, everyone has their own battles and a battle is a battle. None is easier/greater than the other’s.

In a city where everyone has dreams to conquer and points to prove. It is easy to find love but is easier to lose love. And when there is no love, there is longing- longing for love, identity, happiness, serenity. Circle of life, as shown beautifully by the 4 characters of the movie- the loner painter, the I banker on a self discovery, the washer man with dreams and the young bride looking for a foothold.

Finally, Dhobi Ghat isn’t best cinematic experience I had. I’ve seen many a cinematic gold. But this movie moved me enough to write about it, and that’s saying much given this is possibly my first movie review ever.

With that thought and this song  I shall go back to my new camera.

The deep stench of disgust

The illusion of having arrived.

The hypocrisy I thought I’d never have to fight.

We’d risen above the shackles of,

caste, creed, color, gender.

Or so I thought.

It is just that day,

when I seriously think,

I was born at the wrong place,

at the wrong time.


Down the drain

I Got rid of all my unpublished blog posts accumulated over months.

For I classify, elaborate, process and retain hurt in the form of words.

About time I got rid of the cancer.




Tomorrow’s the first day,

figuratively, of course,

of the times to come.

May they bring,

a blessed life of togetherness.


This Diwali

Of late I turned to you,

when I was sad.

Today I turn to you,

to say that,

there’s no joy,

without a hint of sorrow.

I wade through a sea of sorrow,

in my little boat of joy.

I’m ashore,

I’m happy.

I wish the same for you,

happiness, love, health and success.

For everyone deserves a happy diwali and a happier new year.

Bird’s song to her tree

You don’t realize,

but you try.

You hold your ground,

and tie me to it.

It has been years now,

since I made my nest.

I long to spread my wings,

and propel from the ground.

I’m a creature of the sky,

I only know how to fly.

Come take my hand,

rise up so high.

For the nest ain’t home now,

it has no warmth.

Sky has been calling,

for too long now.

With or without you my dear tree,

I have to fly.

Win and lose

She fought and fought,

with abandon,

for abandon.

And now she’s searching,

with abandon,

for abandon,

that she lost,

with abandon.

Exit or schmooze

The list of questions that I have been avoiding to answer is growing. The answers will be unpleasant. But now I’m wondering what is hurting more, avoiding the questions or facing the answers?